The many times Latin America treated me differently because I am a woman
The more I stay here, the more I understand my feministic level of thinking. And I hate it. I hate that I have to be angry, to be uncomfortable, to be irritated.
I hate that I have to argue, to debate on gender equality, to prove a point.
I hate experiencing all these because it is common knowledge that men and women are created equal and that no one should look at me differently just because I am a woman.
But thatâs not the case here.
I have been warned a lot of times â Latin America is a macho continent. Women donât have much voice here because machismo is part of a culture.
Believe it or not, the majority of my Latin friends are men and when I tell them they are machistas, they deny it to death.
Itâs pretty noticeable even in casual conversations. They are probably used to it so they donât consider labeling it as gender discrimination.
I was supposed to teach English in a city in Peru. Like stay long-term and earn big bucks for my upcoming Central American trip.
I already said yes to a co-teacher but backed out the minute she told me I should pretend I have a boyfriend to fit in.
If I say I donât have a boyfriend, people will question what I am doing here alone. Iâve been told they will ask why I am not married nor have a boyfriend.
They will also interrogate you if you have plans on looking for a man in that particular city.
THAT IS RIDICULOUS.
And so, I quit. I know itâs bad to quit last minute when everythingâs been arranged but I cannot be in a situation where I have to identify myself with a man just to get a teaching job that pays pretty fair.
I donât care about the money and I probably never will. I care more about my dignity and how I feel. I will never ever force myself to be happy and comfortable just because I will be earning a lot of cash. And I hope you wonât do that too.
One sunny afternoon in Colombia, I heard the boys (my co-workers) are organizing a friendly football game for the hostel staff.
I came out of nowhere and said, âYes, thatâs a great idea! Iâd like to play too.â Iâve been playing football since I was 14 and though I am not the best player, I certainly believe that I can be in the same wavelength (game-wise) with the boys.
Unfortunately, they said only boys are allowed to play. As usual, I started preaching with what I know about feminism and even started cursing at the boys. In the end, they still didnât allow me to join the game.
At the bar I am working in La Paz, while I was busy preparing for a long night at work, a local came in and started asking my co-worker things.
But hereâs the deal: my mate at work doesnât speak Spanish so for him, this guy is just mumbling. I interrupted and asked politely, in Spanish,
âWhat can I help you with? I can speak Spanish and my mate here doesnât understand any word thatâs coming out of your mouth.â
He responded and told me,
âWoman, I am not talking to you. I am talking to your friend so shut up.â
My mouth gaped open and if I was working that night, I couldâve punched him. With so much vein-controlling and the great challenge of not shouting in public, I asked him (politely) to step out and that there is no room for disrespect in my work place.
If you come here, at my bar, with disrespect, you are not welcome and you probably wonât be. Ever. I donât even know the reason why he wouldnât talk to me when in fact I was just offering help.
One drinking night, I got pretty drunk in a discoteque in Ecuador so I went to get some water at the bar. Itâs my trick to keep me normal and sober.
Even if I am pretty drunk, I am aware of the things happening around me and I never went with anyone I donât personally know.
While waiting for the water, a dude suddenly put his hands inside my skirt, up to my thighs, close to my underwear line.
You know what I did? I smashed a bottle of beer on his face and up until today, I cannot believe I did that. Instinct.
I am not a bad person and I never meant to hurt anyone but if you wrong me, you will definitely get 10 times of the bad things.
The guy was pretty smashed (drunk) as hell and started shouting when he realized heâs bleeding. The police came. We were required to tell the story and to fill out some police report shit. However, he won. They did not arrest him and they were asking me to pay for damage âfees.â
They said I look really provocative and that I am wearing something inappropriate so I should expect things like that to happen to me. Seriously? Srsly? You canât be fucking serious.
Well, as usual, I started shouting (alcoholâs fault) and said I will never pay for damage because he deserved that.
The idiot called it quits and didnât file a complaint on what I did to him. It only proves that heâs a freaking bastard and he knows I am right. He knows what he did. He just didnât want to explain it so he dropped it.
Let me just state this clear: I am a feminist but I definitely donât hate men. Most men would ask me,
âwhat did we do to you that you hold a strong grudge against us?â
Believe me, I donât hate men and itâs sad that being a feminist is often correlated with man hating. Being a feminist simply means that I (we) want equal rights as men.
As simple as that. Do not call me a man-hater or a hormonal bitch just because I am proving a point. I am trying to educate you about the old school way of thinking you have on women and I deserve to be heard.
I donât know how long can I take this as I still have another year of journeying Central America but this has to stop.
And I strongly believe that not only women should fight for gender equality. Men should be involved too.
Are you a man/dude/guy/boy? Did a woman change your life or helped you cope with a crisis? What can you say about your strong-willed sisters, your valiant mother and your fearless aunts? Do you want to express your thoughts on gender equality?
I admire you for this Trisha. And I will always admire women who always speak up for what they think is right, what they think they deserve.
Hmm… I was actually about to write a blog post how being in woman in Latin America actually helped me – but I might have been incredibly lucky…
Hi Trisha, just read this! I didnt know that was your reason why you didnt accept the teaching job but I can remember when I told you about that situation but it was a JOKE when we were talking. I really thought you didnt accept the job because of the accommodation issue. Anyway, nice article, I hope Central America will treat you differently. Positive vibes to you!
Yes, yes, and yes. Being a feminist is not about hating men or being an “angry woman”. It simply refers to someone advocating that women be given equal rights and opportunities as men. I used to be afraid of the term “feminist”, but then I understood what it really meant.
well you just became my favorite blogger in the world. Thanks for this! Though I gotta agree with some people here that say this is a worldwide issue. When I lived in France I honestly thought there wouldn´t be such gender issues and now I find my naivety hilarious. Anyways, I say who gives a fuck about being annoying, people need to be punched with inconvenient truths sometimes!
“And so, I quit. I know itâs bad to quit last minute when everythingâs been arranged but I cannot be in a situation where I have to identify myself with a man just to get a teaching job that pays pretty fair. I donât care about the money and I probably never will. I care more about my dignity and how I feel. I will never ever force myself to be happy and comfortable just because I will be earning a lot of cash. And I hope you wonât do that too.”
I am currently on the same path but in a different situation. Your words are encouraging. Thank you!
Ten thousand points for smashing that bottle of beer on that perv’s head and for speaking up in the police station. Yay you! đ