Dear Hong Kong: you made me wanna

Dear Hong Kong,

14 beautiful days and I can’t believe how much you changed my life. You made me jump off the cliff without asking. You tested my blind faith.

I wasn’t even sure about how I am willing to go that far but you did really bring out something in me. Something good. Something to look forward to.

“You can still surprise yourself,” my aunt said as I was telling her about my current life in Hong Kong. I am a person who have been through a lot and have seen the world in its goodness and mischief.

Making my heart jump is not as easy but for you, it was a piece of cake. I am never sure about anything and you knew it.

You knew it will take one hour for me to make best friends with some expat girls I barely know and wake up from daydreaming a perfect relationship with a British boy.

You knew that I needed an American chef to make me laugh… and fat. You knew I had to go all the way to you just to regulate a relationship with the mother of my niece. You knew I had to make things right.

Best of all, you knew that I should realise I am not ready to settle down, to live somewhere. And that, I am still too young!

You made me wanna move forward and endlessly swipe right. There was so much to learn from you when it comes to hacking online dating.

Even though I am not depressed as fuck with my single status, you made me want to jump into it and try. It was raining British men for sure but you, Hong Kong, made me realize that choosing who to be with is not about race, ethnicity or colour.

I am not sure what it’s about yet but I know that my understanding about the miserable but marvelous world of men topped up. There really is a Starman waiting in the sky.

We don’t need to forget the good times in order to move on, right? It’s not only the bad that we need to solely dwell upon. The good happened, too.

From now on, I will keep covering the bad with the good. The good is good. The good is something to look forward to!

You made me wanna walk. Well, I am already a person who loves to walk ever since Africa was added to my milestone but you made me wanna walk more.

It’s easier though. Hong Kong has the world’s longest escalator system that 85,000 use daily! Half a mile, 442 feet high, in a city famous for its steep hills and humid summers. I would’ve not loved walking more if it wasn’t because of this.

You made me wanna eat. I couldn’t stop eating. You have a long road in gastronomy and I never even made it halfway.

The dim sum, the unhygienic but delicious street food, the baos — all these made me feel like this is something I missed about living in Asia.

Even the outsiders such as Italian, Spanish, Argentine, Portuguese, Lebanese, were pretty impressive. Really, I can go on and enumerate all the food that you have and I won’t be able to finish. It needs to be in another post.

Hey, thank you. Food makes me happy. Food is my life-long partner. You took care of me very well.

You made me re-assess my independence. For a time, I thought I lost it. I remember not wanting to seek approval from other people nor not taking their opinions into consideration when it comes to making big and personal choices.

With you, I learned I need not be terrified in trusting myself whether it’s moving to another country, taking a different lifestyle or just traveling in general. You made me remember I don’t need to explain myself to anyone.

You made me want to celebrate my life everyday. I am honestly tired, weak and lonely. But when I look closely, I see concrete ways of telling myself I am lucky because I really am.

I have a loving family, I have a fantastic ‘job’ that lets me be wherever I want to be in the world, I can still feel my aliveness, I am still the person who takes so little to be happy!

Sometimes, I think I am stuck and that nothing has changed but when I look back, I realised from the day I changed my route, every fucking day was different.

You made me want to move to you, Hong Kong. I was about to rent an apartment and not go back and ditch all my travel plans but thank you for telling me that I need to stop and think about it carefully; that I need to listen because my heart is telling me something.

I did feel like moving to Siargao, too. The only different was that, in here, with you, there was a voice that guided me through. I just have so much love for everyone and for everywhere it gets so confusing if I should stay.

I’m pretty sure people who read my stuff are kind of perplexed, too. I’ve expressed my love for so much cities in the world they can’t tell the difference.

I don’t have to explain that. I am just writing. That’s all that matters to me.

No matter how much I deny it, no matter how much I say I have changed and is ready to be still, I am still the same Trisha — hungry for life experiences, languages, food and cultures. (Above all, food)

It’s not all you but the people you brought into my life while I was in Hong Kong made me feel ten times younger. They are over 33 and still don’t have shit figured out.

I am actually very lucky to have the ability of putting my shit together. Some of the people I met who are way older than me are very confused.

Sad. Lonely. Unhappy. Even if I knew Hong Kong will not be a momentary bliss, at one point, I believe it could be.

It might not be now but we will be together in the future. Later is okay, right? It doesn’t have to be now. So I am telling you this, with so much truth in my heart, I will be back.

You should be ready for when it happens. This is honestly a moment that changed my life. Again, thank you.

All the love in the world,

Trisha

who is writing, traveling, living and loving