Dear girls of the world: Travel alone and discover more about yourself
Dear girls of the world,
A few weeks ago I was spending every morning watching the sunrise on the beach in Sri Lanka and afterwards having a cup of tea and a plate of fresh fruits. Every morning was the same but I was really happy about it. Nobody rushed me or disturbed me. I spent that time only with myself and felt how happiness and harmony filled me.
Moments like this are very personal for me and I don’t need nobody to be with me, even if I’m travelling with someone else. And everyone is really fine about it. I know that I need some time only with myself and I’m not afraid to say it out loud. People who accept themselves don’t have the problem with spending some time alone. They feel comfortable with their own company.
I remember that I used to travel with other people, my husband or my friends, and every time they wanted to do something I didn’t want to do, I felt guilty about it. They wanted to do some shopping or sightseeing or just go out and I FELT GUILTY that I wanted to stay in the hostel or do something else. In that time, however, I wasn’t aware that this feeling is guiltiness. I really thought that there is something wrong with me. I asked myself how it is possible that I can be such a recluse, where usually I’m a social butterfly? So I usually did what others wanted.
And one day I took a solo trip and that was the moment when I realized that I don’t want to do what other people want me to do. It is hard to describe this feeling but in one moment I just WOKE UP. I felt amazing. I understood that I can do whatever I want to do and if somebody doesn’t like it, there is nothing wrong with me.
It’s not that you have to travel alone to understand it. If you have a good company that respects you and your needs, you’ll be able to spend some times on your own and nobody will make you feel guilty.
I remember when a group of my friends took a trip together and after they came back, they were angry with each other. I asked few of them eye to eye what happened and everyone told me his/her version of the story. What came to my mind is that every person had his or her own expectations of the trip and because they were in hurry, there was no time to respect other people’s needs. I guess, they didn’t even talk about each other needs! And they argued even about such trivial things like to drink coke or fresh fruit juice.
All in all, they came back frustrated and angry with each other. What is more, they couldn’t travel for themselves because every person felt the pressure of the group.
By telling you this story I want you to understand that there is no point in doing what other people expects you to do while you travel.
To travel is to learn. To experience. To try new things. Doesn’t matter if you go thousand miles or just a few. What matters is that this is your journey and you have the right to live and experience it just the way you want to.
It’s not only about trying new things, cuisine and gaining new experience. It’s about something much more.
When you travel, you leave your ordinary life and habits behind and you have the opportunity to learn more about yourself, listen to your mind and heart. Don’t hurry and just enjoy the moment with yourself. Peer at your body and your mind. How does it behave while in travel? What does it need?
I discovered that I behave completely different while I travel since I’ve started to accept my needs and follow the rhythm of my mind and body. I’m more relaxed, I feel better, I’m just a happier person. Since I do what I really want to do, I can say that I’m living in inner harmony with myself.
Don’t listen what other people tell you when travel. Learn how to refuse. If your friends want to party all night long and you want to wake up early for the sunrise, don’t be afraid to refuse them. Put your own needs on the first place and people will learn to respect you and your needs. Just remember not to force other people to do what you want. We all have a right to choose.
When you already learn to respect and name your needs and be more assertive, you will feel happier, lighter and fulfilled. You will find the inner harmony with yourself and understand what you really needs.
And when you go home, it will be easier to call your needs in the world full of other people’s expectations.
Just keep in mind that it needs time to really follow your heart. It doesn’t come quickly, but trust me – the more you accept yourself, the happier you are and the easier it comes to talk out loud about your needs.
It’s completely fine to fulfill our needs so if you ever felt guilty that you want to do something else or changed your plans for someone else, go ahead and do something for yourself! There is nothing bad about it! We are all perfect just the way we are, even if it’s different from others people expectations, and we are worth to live the life we want!
who is currently in Israel and Jordan doing volunteer work