Dear girls of the world: don’t let heartbreak hold you back
Dear girls of the world,
For my whole life, my dream has been to travel. I wanted to see the world, experience new cultures, and live a life of wild adventure and new horizons. A dream I always factored someone else into. I’ve been lucky enough to have been in brilliant relationships where I made singular dreams into a twosome. Imagining every length of road and every beach to be with the person I loved, and the concept absolutely thrilled me.
Yes, I said ‘lucky to have been’, because these men I loved so dearly over the years are no longer mine to dream with, and now it’s just me. Just me; a concept I have struggled with. How do you make the two-sized dream into one life-size reality? More importantly, how do you go to dinner alone? Facing life after a break up is hard, particularly the changes that you have to make whether it was something you wanted or not. That person you made these dreams with no longer dreams them with you, and that concept is huge. Its hard and its ugly, and its just plain different.
We’ve all been there. The finding of ourselves after a break up, the gaining of new and obscure hobbies, the mid week drinks, the chocolate stashes, the online shopping and the rebuilding of dreams big and small. You bring yourself up over time, you fight back against those ugly thoughts that threaten you, and you come out on top; you again. You always do. Sometimes it’s a struggle, and sometimes it’s actually quite easy. But you get to a point where you look back on that person you loved so completely, without anger or sadness and you just remember how much fun that time was in your life; no regrets. The strong independent woman in me says not to say how Bridget Jones I have been sometimes, but lets just accept the fact we all grieve for our lost loves, big or small. I am not ashamed of that.
A story you often hear when travelling is of the newly single girl up and leaving home and ‘finding herself’ on a beach somewhere. I mean, it’s a cliché right? But it’s completely true! It took me a month in Bali to remember who I was alone; and let me tell you, that girl is fabulous! She meets new people, she dances until 5am, she experiences culture and runs with it, she doesn’t brush her hair for days, she talks to everyone she meets and she has the absolute time of her life. She fell in love again and got out of that comfort zone she took up residence in and revelled in it, every minute being better than the next. She also got her heart broken again, but she picked herself up, never regretting a single moment, dusted herself off, and carried on going, so glad of the people and the experiences she had had in her life.
So here is my message to you girls. Fall in love. Fall so deeply in love with the world around you you’re fit to burst. Fall in love with people, fall in love with countries and places, and fall in love with experiences. Love is the best thing and isn’t reserved for a relationship. Love your life and absolutely kill it out there! Those great loves of your life, and I mean, they were great weren’t they? You wouldn’t have picked them otherwise; they were so lucky to have been part of your life, and you had such a great time together. You wish them well, you think about them from time to time and you will always keep a little space in your heart for them. But now is your time girl. Your time. Show the world out there what you are made of, because it’s a lot stronger stuff than you thought. Go for dinner alone and enjoy it! Go meet people, go dance go get reacquainted with yourself. Make that life-size dream a reality, and don’t let heartbreak hold you back.
Love. Love yourself, and love that life of yours. Mend that heart yourself.
Alex aka Melons